Sunday, May 16, 2010

Confusion isn't all bad

This morning our house phone rang with a caller id we didn't recognize. Usually we let these go to the answering machine, particularly if they seem to have that feeling associated with scam. We got pretty good with those back when three out of four calls to our house were to offer me an extension on my car warranty. You know, they were worried that I would need service on the 1973 pickup truck or on my 1992 Jeep and the manufacturers warranty might have just run out. Occasionally I'd talk to them in an attempt to use up all the minutes on their throwaway cell phone, it was the least I could do. The call this morning was local, our area code, so it could be someone attempting to collect money. Still another good reason not to answer the phone. But I was just getting around to that first cup of coffee and wasn't at my best, so I picked up the handset.
“Hello?”
“Dave?”
“Yes?”
“This is Tori, how are you?”
“Tori? I'm sorry but I'm drawing a blank. I'm trying to remember you and can't.”
“Dave Barnes?”
“I'm sorry, you have the wrong Dave.”
A few more embarrassed pleasantries and the call was ended. It was a call for Dave, but not this one and for a few moments I was very confused. Now I've been confused before. In fact, there have been times when the level of my confusion was nearly Olympic. I usually wander around with an odd look on my face, not really sure what is going on and often not caring either. In those greatest moments I could have managed to infect on the law of gravity the question of not just “up/down” but wouldn't sideways be an option as well. This morning was minor confusion, quickly and easily resolved. It was the unintended side effect of the call that interests me. In much less time that it takes to brew and drink a cup of coffee I was fully awake and thinking clearly. The cloudy feeling of confusion had been blown away as I struggled to figure out who the hell Tori was. Evidently I'd been given a shot of the brain equivalent of adrenaline and I was up to speed. So much that after my cup of coffee I was taking on tasks that I'd been very successful in procrastinating for quite some time.
This was amazing and I'd love to find a way to duplicate the effect, without having to talk to Tori or answer the phone if I can avoid it. It was the unexpected that I confronted and it cleared my mind. Inspector Clouseau had his trusted Kato to attack him at any time in order to keep his self defense skills at their peak. A master provides a koan to the student as an aid to finding that moment of clarity and zen. Kids are constantly confronted by the unexpected and it's during those years they experience the greatest growth in knowledge they will have in their life. Of course dementia patients are exposed to the unexpected on a daily basis and they don't seem to enjoy the growth or clarity seen by the others I've mentioned. But their confusion is from a very different set of circumstances and maybe it isn't the best example here. At least I hope it isn't.
It is a daunting challenge to find a way to be confronted by the unexpected on a regular basis. The very nature of scheduling a chance to be exposed to an unexpected event or problem is self-contradictory. It's kind of like Steven Covey suggesting you put a block of time in your Franklin planner for some spontaneous creative activity. This is more of a koan than a time management suggestion if you ask me. What is the sound of one hand clapping pales in comparison to the modern concept of scheduling some spontaneity. I guess I'll just try to wake every morning with a mind clear of preconceptions. I will expect to make coffee and plan to avoid spilling hot liquids on my body.
The day can come to me in spurts or flow like an old meandering river, washing me up on the bank for a new adventure or just a little rest. It's all good and it seems that after looking at the whole mess, a little bit of confusion can be a good thing.

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